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2. |
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With my fists toward the sky
I stole the fire from the sun
And I put the light in your big brown eyes
You see I want to glow like fireflies
In the Saratoga summer nights
And the trees they will come alive
I hear them whispering when we close our eyes
And when that sun begins to rise
I'm gonna shut it out
And when that sun begins to rise
We're gonna shut it out
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4. |
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I dare not erase you from my memory
Though you make my red eyes wetter
But, I always find you in my sleep.
You were my friend
And now you are my lover under covers
Oh my dear lady
You oh yes you were the light and I was a mirror
You remind me of the last man that I knew
and you feel my body just like he used to
But I feel his hands when I go to sleep
and the fire between my thighs
I missed you before I knew you
I missed love before I knew
Why oh why am I never satisfied?
So I beg and plead and need and then I try again
You want sex with an older man.
Now sex with a younger girl.
You let sex define yourself
In quintessential measurements
Of inches and time.
But where is the feeling?
It's always under covers
When I'm asleep
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5. |
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Fly your planes in the air to a new found intention
Sail your boat to the shores of warm white sand
With my head in the sky
My vision’s awful cloudy
My oar’s broken down
I think I may drown
See your friends settle down in a new pot of soil
Grow too soon, it’s too cold, they forgot about the winter
With my roots in the ground
Still searching for a grip to hold
My messy flower’s brown
For the 6 legs I‘d give my life.
Propellers buzz and they spin inside
the engines hum, and the oils right,
until my wings kiss the sky
I won’t be satisfied
The current’s calm, and the winds south east,
my sail is taught, with my life jacket sleeves,
until the horizons at my feet
I will not be pleased.
My skin shall never graze against another bowl of clay,
dear sun, I’m on my way
With arms outstretched I feel your heat
The earth encased around my feet
Dear sun I’m on my way
My limbs of countless finger tips
Swathed with a thousand thirsty lips
Sip dew from the dirt up through my hips
When I find you I’ll never let go
Dear sun,
I’m on my way
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6. |
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Im gonna cast my lines behind into the ponds of time
Oh how slow go the days
Don’t you worry son, we’re gonna catch you one
Before the sun falls away
We’re gonna lace up
We’re gonna march on
Over those mountains Appalachian
Into a bed of roses and a warm body
One day you will be free
Don’t you mourn her ghost for she now sees the host
Shes passed through pearly gates
Shes every stepping stone across the rivers we’ve gone
Ramblin’ cross the states
We’re gonna lace up
We’re gonna paddle on
Over the great lake Michigan
Into a bed of roses and a warm body
We’re lost in the jungle of the big city
This Life’s like a knife you’ve got to cut yourself deep
But one day I promise you will be free
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7. |
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Late at night termites crawl inside my ears
With what’s inside they built a mask to frighten off my fears
Tiny hands build brittle dreams
the kind that make your mother scream
The kind that your ex lover sings
Oh you poor little baby
crying hard in your basket
you’ve been (wading) in the water
floating toward desire
Oh your poor petty baby
I found you on my doorstep
But I can't let you in
I’ve one of my own
And one is too many and two is just absurd
Oh your poor little baby
One day you’ll understand.
And I can hope your lover dies
A shaken baby wishing for earthquakes
Let the floods flow
Up the Hudson to your windows
An electrical storm waiting at your door
Knocking in the night
Grabs him by the throat
Since I don’t understand
I’ll just make a mess
With these wooden limbs,
My mask and a few trusty ants.
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8. |
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Oh rosey youre so far from me tonight
I still feel your fingers in my spine
You're older and wiser
Am I still naïve to believe
That I can change time
Oh Mathew I miss you
Now your leagues across sea
Albany is nothing like back home
It’s a different kind of cold
Lonely’s not the word
There's a lack of color here
The trees are made of stone
On mother I keep dreaming
of the things that get me screaming awake
Mother you don’t fear,
when your day comes you’ll be far away
From the bedsides and frustration
old age is amputation of the soul
You’ll be free you’ll be free from it all
Andy’s in the mountain way up north
I bet the bird sing along to your verse
My brother I get this feeling
when we’re older we’ll never be alone
Feel no sense of obligation
Ill be sitting at the station on tender hooks
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9. |
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I am the living dead
My skin is pale and veins are ice cold blue
I feed upon the land
Sink my teeth into what I find, and I found you
Your bloods like marmalade
Its brings me back to warmer days
My clothes are torn
Covered in the flesh of my victims
I swallow their souls
Try To fill the void under my sternum
They call it a cavity
But I need more and more and more of you my sweet
I am the living dead
And you know Ive got your body on my mind
I never go to bed
I stay up til the sunlight gets too bright for my eyes
Have grown accustomed to the dark
With my lame leg I can hardly walk
My skin is rotting
Theres nothing that doctors say they’ll
Im sick of them watching
Like a spectacle they see at the zoo
I now spend my yearning years alone
I just wish I could make it home
Would you ever let me in?
They call me a zombie but I am a man I swear I am a man
Not nearly 20 and I’m lonelier than I’ve ever been
Oh they call me a zombie but I am a man I swear I am a man
My mother says shes proud of me and to be proud of what I am
I love you
Bye bye baby
Bye bye\
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10. |
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an infant drinks the water from his mothers cupped hands
The same drops of water that are fed into the plants
And we all come full circle
Yeah we fall through like sand
We are all the same person
Molecules in the shape of a man
A widow cries hard salty tears down her cheeks
Little drop of the ocean crash like waves on the beach
And we all come full circle
We’re just pieces in the sky
Infinite yet a fraction
And we’re all gonna die
But don’t fear,
fears what got you here
See, there’s light in the dark
when you’re closing the lids
On the jars
youve collected
full of fingernails
And brown tangles of hair
used napkins, and old folded receipts
I believe when we all lay down to sleep
We awake with new eyes
Maybe wings or a beak
And we’ll all move around
Hear the stories in the ground
Keep your nose in the air
and your tail wagging fast
Cause baby, and all my dear friends
When the worlds gonna end
I’d like to be buried 6 feet under with you
So maybe the worms will devour our bones as one
We’ll be together forever, forever’s not long enough
When the sun comes on up
We’re gonna grow like weeds
We’ll be the tallest fucking tree.
But we’ll be tall like trees
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All of these songs were written in 2005-2006. One of the fondest yet lonesome years of my life.
I spent the year writing, often after long nights with my friends at b3nson. I had little recollection of writing the lyrics/melodies of these songs. I was often surprised to find them on my computer when I woke up in the morning.
There is a slight possibility that I did not even write these songs.
I finally recorded them in my bedroom, using 2 microphones and my laptop in 2010.